A few funny things that I have actually said in the course of a normal teaching day!
Thinking about joining the always eventful world of teaching? Any experienced teacher can tell you that you will develop quite a mental list of ridiculous things you have had to say to your students, whether you teach English to four-year-olds or chemistry to high schoolers.
These little quotes are always fun to share, so I thought I'd get it started. Keep your own list and share it too!
1. "Yes, it is possible for monkeys to die, but they won't die just because it's raining."
2. "Why are you talking to the wall?"
(By the way, the answer was: "Aliens in the wall. I tell them come my house for lunch." )
3. "Point your eyes forward."
(Because saying "Look where you're going" was apparently not clear.)
4. "Walk like a person."
5. "It's 'Mary Had a Little Lamb', not 'Mary Had a Little MAN'."
6. "Yes, astronauts do have toilets to use when they're in space."
7. "There were dinosaurs, which are not humans but more like animals, a long time ago. They are not here now. Then, there were humans. Some humans were pirates. There are not pirates anymore, but there are still some humans."
8. "Who threw up something pink under the slide?"
(And, I still don't know what that pink substance originally was...)
9. "I know it's white, but you still should not lick it. Now please, put on your shoes."
10. "A bad guy will not break into the classroom to steal our prize box."
Bonus: One day, my kids' discussion turned to marriage and babies.
One boy proclaimed, "You cannot grow up if you don't get married!"
Another said, "But I don't want!"
I told him, "That's fine, you don't have to get married if you don't want to."
He was very pleased and said, "Ok, I will have no marry and no babies. Just like Teacher!"
....gee thanks, kid.